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AUTHOR’S FINAL POEM AND PROLOGUE:
February the 11th 2009

This is the last poem and these will become the final lines of this written journey and again I put the end at the beginning and the beginning at the end. Why, I truly do not know other than it feels appropriate in that when this journey ends, another begins. Therefore, it is this journey which began with the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer in June of 2008, a journey which still continues but now in the solitude of oneself.

As I pen this final / opening, it marks five months to the day and to the very hour since I laid my sweet Leah to rest. Five months which seem like a lifetime, yet still like it was only yesterday. Some say that time heals all wounds, but I believe this not to be true. I think that time may lessen the hurt and the sorrow, yet it never truly heals. There were times especially during Christmas, a time that Leah enjoyed so well, that I prayed that God take me home in the night as I slept, for the grief of not having her with me was unbearable. However, by the fact that I awakened each morning let me know that my life is not in my hands, but in God’s hands.

Grief is a difficult chapter in life that no one can really put a handle on. There have been hundreds and hundreds of books written on this subject who will outline common traits and symptoms among those which grieve, but nobody, no, not one person, will grieve the same. For some it is discarding anything and everything that remotely reminds them of the one that they have lost to death and for others such as I, it is clinging to those very same things in an effort to ease slowly back into the world of the living.